hippie trips: Circling The Wagon

My mother is transitioning to the next part of her journey. Her earth journey is almost over. She has been circling the wagon for weeks now. So many relatives who have already passed have visited her and apparently, my dad does not leave her side.

So many supernatural events have taken place during the past few weeks that I am comforted by the validations from hospital nurses, visitors, skilled nursing nurses and staff and the wonderful Hospice nurses. I'm glad to have witnesses to the glorious magic that surrounds her during this time.

The last time she actually ate any food was on her 92nd birthday, July 26th. She had birthday cake and ice cream at the small birthday party that we had for her in her hospital room with a handful of family members. I guess that isn't a bad "last meal" when you think about it! :)

We moved her to a skilled nursing facility after her week in the hospital. It was there that she began to stand in the doorway to the other side.

She described what it was like at "her new place". She said that it was so beautiful and clean. There are no words that we have that can properly describe how beautiful it is and how wonderful she feels when she "goes in there". She said that she felt so wonderful, she had never felt that wonderful before. She, was euphoric and very clear. They had cut way back on her meds because they thought that may have caused her "confusion", only to discover that it was not the drugs. It was clear and sincere.

Last night she became unresponsive. She no longer speaks or opens her eyes, although she tries. My mom is the strongest person I know. She is stubborn and a control freak, so no doubt that she would have a long, drawn out death experience! Unlike my dad and sister, who became incredibly ill and checked out immediately. Although, they both had some interesting and beautifully unique events that surrounded their deaths.

So, here we are tonight. Waiting for another call. We have had several "emergency" calls, where we were told that her time had come and all of her vital signs had dropped. When we arrived, her vitals returned to normal and she snapped back! She has been fooling everyone with the rise and fall of her physical functions. There is really nothing that anyone can do at this point, except keep her comfortable.

We never told her that she has kidney cancer that is stage 4 and migrated to her back and fractured her spine. She does not know that she is dying. She only thinks she is being treated for a broken back and will return to her assisted living home. She has Dementia/Alzheimer's and I knew in my heart that she would only be scared every time she remembered what is wrong with her body.
I want to keep her as far away from fear as we possibly can. So far, so good. She has only been surrounded by and expresses LOVE. She is closer to Source than she has ever been. And this is good.

I have found strengths that I was unaware of prior to this chapter in my life. I have found that I have an abundance of lovely people who support, love and encourage me. My core circle has been more than amazing. I have never been left feeling alone or sad or without during this time.

Tonight I am staying at home. There may be a late night call and there may not. When I visited my mom, I would wear the essential oils that I usually wear so she would know it was me :) We took her a milkshake every night because it was the only thing she could tolerate (since her birthday cake and ice cream!). Last night was the first night that she was unable to drink, see or speak. So, I just talked to her. Before I let I told her to close her eyes (honey) and enjoy her magical journey. Just relax and enjoy the wonder and beauty in everything.
I'm sure she did.

All things that are a part of who I am have been waiting for my return. I haven't painted in many, many months and am looking forward to placing my attention where it belongs....using my creative energy!

My entire life has been intertwined with my mom and dad. After my dad passed away in 2011, my mom's grief overtook everyone else in the family. At that time my sister, Cheryl, was still alive and she shared some of that burden. Cheryl passed away unexpectedly in 2013. So, it became a job for my husband, daughter and me to take care of my mom. She lived independently for years and she resisted going into an assisted living situation. When she did go, last February, she fell in love with her new life there! She no longer sat around dwelling on her losses. She made many new friends and engaged in many activities. She especially loved the drum circle. She told me, "It's all about peace." ~ She suddenly became a new woman with a new outlook, even though she suffered from Dementia and had a lot of forgetful moments.

So, this will also be a new beginning for me and my small family. I plan on making it a creative life. More creative than ever before! I have many theories about creative energy and I KNOW for a fact that creativity can save lives! It will get me through any difficult days that may come.

I never really thought much about who I REALLY am at my core and what I WANT in my heart. This is the opportunity to discover that deeper connection with myself. I mean, I know who I am and what I want, but that has all been shaken due to way too many years of being concerned and physically involved in the lives of my elderly parents. I know there are parts of me that I wouldn't dare to express when they were both present on earth. I am eager to explore new horizons, myself!

My Coloring Books For Free Spirits of All Ages are published, covers are in full color and the website launch is coming soon. That has been about the only thing that I have been able to do, creatively. And the work that is done will carry them forward. Thank God for Kendra Jones, my business partner, because without her these books would not have had an afterlife. I had pretty much shut them down when i became overwhelmed with family needs. She came along and gave them breath to resurrect!